Kaitlin's Playgroup Year-End Concert

Kaitlin's school had their year-end concert last Friday and boy was I excited for it!! I think I was more excited than Kaitlin and it was such a special day for Kaitlin and us.

The concert was held at the Singapore Post Theatrette. Lucky for her playgroup class, they did not have to arrive as early as the other kids so Kaitlin got to wake up at her usual time. We dropped her off so that she could prepare with her teachers and friends, while Daddy Li and I had some rare couple time where we mostly stoned and eagerly waited for the performance to start.

After the usual speech and all..the show was about to begin! We got to see slideshows of all the kids in the school and of course I had to snap away when they showed Kaitlin's class. Basically it was a compilation of them in class and also during their rehearsals for their performance.

Seeing them practice for the performance totally made my heart melt! It's like they did all that for us?! And they are only 2! They may not know that the performance was for us, but the fact that they practice and then did it on stage later was such a sweet moment that I almost teared.

Here's the performance:

I didn't edit it at all and it's a little shaky here and there. If you get to the end of the video, you'll realise that Kaitlin didn't move much as in she didn't do most of the actions but that was totally fine by us. I think it was already awesome enough that she went on stage and didn't start crying. In fact, I'm not too sure if she saw us while on stage, but as you can see in the video she seemed to be looking at us for awhile.

Oh...I don't know how to really describe the entire moment. It was such a mix of being excited and us trying to snap and film away that when the performance ended I was like "what just happened?!" cos there were just so many emotions. Thankfully though we had the video above so I could totally re-watch (I've already watched it at least like 5 times over hehe!) it and see what really went on.

We spent the rest of the concert with K seated with us, which was a great move on the school's part cos obviously all the small kids would want to be with their parents. Kaitlin basically just snacked the whole way through the other performances. She wouldn't stop eating all her puffs that by the end she had almost finished all of it. Thankfully she was a good girl as well and didn't get cranky or fidgety at all. We didn't stay through to the end of the concert like we had wanted to cos of K's naptime. Luckily the only time she got cranky was when we got on the cab to leave and by then she was starting to get tired so it was totally understandable.

Daddy Li and I are both very proud of our little girl. It's not just this performance that made us feel this way..but in a way the concert was kind of the icing on the cake. I think the performance just shows how much Kaitlin has grown since she's started school. She definitely picked up both good and bad habits, but I think it's safe to say there are more good ones than bad. I remember how it was such a tough search looking for her school and how undecided I felt. Even on the first week of school, watching her cry in tears totally made my heart ache and I always questioned if I did the right thing and I always did consider if I should just pull her out from school. After the performance, I finally felt like I did do something right after all..and I feel even more assured that Kaitlin's doing just fine in class.

With the year coming to an end, I'm definitely getting a little worried about how Kaitlin is going to adjust to moving up to Nursery level with new classmates, a new classroom and new teachers. I know it's not going to be a smooth transition, but I can only hope for the best. And like always, I'll just have to hold her hands, hug it out with her and reassure her that it will all be fine.

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To my dearest Kaitlin, you've done mommy and daddy so very proud, and we are so happy with how much you've learnt and achieved. You've always been surprising us with what you've learnt and what you are capable of doing. Sure, you might be slower than your peers in certain aspects and I was always the worry wart, but we really couldn't ask for more from you. As for Nursery, we'll get through whatever transition you've to make Kaitlin, mommy will always be here. Always. For now, just enjoy the rest of the school year my little sweetheart!

April [ in pictures ]

How is it already going to be May and soon half a year would have gone by?! I shall take the fact that time seems to have flown by to be a good thing.

April was a month of firsts! It was the first time sending Kaitlin off to school. Also the first time that I'm away from her for a period of time. I couldn't stop worrying about her, and I questioned my decision of why I even wanted to let her start school. I also went through a period of self-doubt about myself as a mother.

It was also the first time that we sent Kaitlin for enrichment class. I had wanted to her to start her enrichment class much earlier, but of course there was a long waiting line, and it had to start on the same week that Kaitlin started school! To our pleasant surprise, she was great during her first enrichment class.

With all the new adjustments, it's the first time that Kaitlin has started throwing really bad tantrums like screaming, hitting and going on the floor kicking here and there! Perhaps a case of the terrible two  that might have started off a little early or her way of adjusting to everything new this month. I had a fair share of dealing with her tantrums all on my own, and yet again wondered if all these arrangements were right for her. I understand how Kaitlin feels, and have read on how we should deal with it, but sometimes it's easier said than done, especially when I'm actually quite a bad-tempered and impatient person. Well, as Daddy Li says the earlier it starts the earlier it ends, so let's hope that we will be able to guide her the right way and everything will be back to normal soon. Been trying to not yell/scold her if necessary and not get angry with her but try to stay positive and all and it's been working so far! Except for today though, I scolded her cos she was being difficult during her mealtimes. It's only cos I am really really tired! Before you start judging, it's not easy being a mom okay! We are humans too! On top of looking after ourselves, we got a house, a husband and a child to take care of.

School wise, I'm happy to report that Kaitlin has made significant progress. She's been adjusting well to school and class. Still cries when I drop her off, and occasionally cries during class time but a major improvement in my opinion. It's only been slightly less than a month since she has started and she's only 19 months old, so big claps for her!

April was a month of us falling ill. Well, Kaitlin and me mainly. She fell ill (first time she even fell ill cos of a jab and first time she had fever!) after her jabs, got better but got ill again after she started school. She passed it to me..and I'm still not well. Now all that's left is a sore throat :(

We also did a few homelearning activities this month and I might blog about them soon! Also, I've finally moved my blog to a new domain: www.hellolittlesunshine.com Please support and show your love!

This month, I'm thankful for Daddy Li. Not that I'm not thankful for him at all, just that this month, I'm particularly appreciative of him. Thankful that I could share with him about how I felt dropping the first few days when I dropped Kaitlin off at school. How I felt sad, and how my heart ached hearing her cry and how I couldn't stop worrying about her. He would encourage me by saying things like "It's got to be done, since the decision has already been made just go along with it" and telling me that it's either she cries now or later. I'm glad that I was able to share with him how I questioned myself if I made the right decision or not. Usually our serious conversations would end up in us getting frustrated with each other and end there, but this time it was different and I'm happy that the communication between us has improved. Recently, he hasn't been able to come home and it's been a little more tiring and I've been down as a result, but well absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I hope that this makes us learn to appreciate each other better. Thank you for everything hubxz!

It was definitely a busy April and I'm feeling so tired out. I can't wait for May to come cos hey hey it's a public holiday tmr! Ironically, it's Labour Day but in mommy land there is no Labour Day, we are on call 24/7 D: I'm just hoping that with Daddy Li around I can chill a little!

I hope May will be a smooth-sailing month esp with less tantrums from the little one. I'm also looking forward to May cos we will be celebrating our wedding anniversary :))

Kaitlin's First Week of Preschool!

I'm so excited to share about how Kaitlin's first few days of school went. To me it's really a huge milestone!

Kaitlin was supposed to be starting school on Monday but I decided to let her skip school for the first two days as she was still ill. So badass right! So young already skipping school.

I really didn't want her cough and cold to get worse cos obviously there would be tears and screaming when I leave her. Also, we all know how it's common for children to fall sick at school with all the germs everywhere and the teachers aren't very attentive to tiny details like cleaning off mucus on the student's face. So I definitely wanted to avoid her falling more ill than she already is.

Well, besides that I got to admit that a little part of me found it hard to have to send her off to school and hear her wailing like mad and not be able to help her :( Since two weeks ago I've been thinking of not sending her to school already, and maybe just let her start school when she's in nursery. I've sat in for the classes, and have had a clearer picture of how the teachers are like and to what extent can they cope that I really felt the best option was for me to look after her. Well it was too late, cos I already paid for her school fees and all so no choice there right, plus afterall I had planned to send her off to school when she was 18 months, so why think twice now?!

Yes, my heart's too soft! Sure, I can get mad at her, but once she sobs for real, my heart turns into mush, and I'll just give in. Even Daddy Li claims that I spoil her. Well, whether you want to think of it as spoiling her or not I just can't help it. She's my babygirl and I don't want her to feel unloved or not cared about. Worse still, I don't want her to end up falling ill or possibly end up having difficulty breathing because of all that crying. By then it would be too late right!?

So well, I finally reasoned with myself that what's got to be has got to be done, so off she went to school! Got Daddy Li to take off as well so that we could see our babygirl off on her first day.

First Day:
I stayed with her in class for close to two hours before leaving. Of course she cried, and my only thought was to just leave as soon as possible so I can't hear her crying or screaming. If I stayed there any longer I might have just bust back into her class and rescued her.

I went back shortly after and happend to see the teacher carrying her while walking back to the classroom. Felt super relieved that she was not crying and in true princess fashion, she got to be carried. I've never seen the teacher carry any kid before and walk around so I guess she got her way. It wasn't before long that she started crying again cos she saw me. Big oops on my part for letting her spot me. When we picked her up she was teary and was clinging on to me real tight.

The teacher mentioned that she didn't want to eat her lunch. Wasn't too worried about this since Kaitlin is quite a fussy eater. It was also mentioned that she enjoyed the gym, kind of expected this cos she had fun in it the last time she was there. Also, she didn't cry much during lesson time only during the transitional periods which well most of the new kids do the same so I guess it wasn't all too bad.

She was pretty chirpy and happy after we left the school. (Sidetrack: I know my eyebags are the size of Russia :( Mommy was more anxious about Kaitlin starting school than the babygirl herself!)

Napped well in the afternoon. Took super long to fall asleep at night..I wondered if she was worried about going to school the next day. One of the times that she woke up in the middle of night, she started crying and screaming and couldn't be soothed. Probably night terrors/nightmare. After quite a fair bit of soothing, she finally went back to sleep.

Second Day:
She woke up super early (around 6.15am) on her own, and partly cos Daddy Li's alarm prevented her from falling back asleep. It wasn't as pleasant as the first :( this time I just dropped her off and left. No staying in the class. She wailed for me so bad like "mommy don't do this to me please", omg my heart totally shattered. Totally had no appetite or mood for anything, I was just counting down till it was time to pick her up. I even stayed around the area just in case of anything. It was feedbacked that she cried alot today and kept wanting to be carried. Would be consoled by songs or the teacher singing. Same like at home. Teacher says she likes music. Didn't want to eat lunch again, so I will be packing her lunch to school the next day so they can feed her. I don't mind at all cos the lunch probably has salt and all the other preservatives and I'm anti-preservatives when it comes to food for Kaitlin. Sad to hear that she didn't want to play at the gym today :( Didn't interact much with the other kids, kept pointing here and there for the teacher to walk to. Wasn't interested in the toys at school. This was quite surprising to hear as she usually likes to fiddle with the toys they have there. I was thinking probably she was too upset to want to play. Teacher says she's quite smart cos whenever she sees a staff coming in she will want to leave with them to go out and push the teacher away, probably to get away from the classroom. Her bottle was empty today. I hope she didn't cry that much and as a result got so thirsty and drank up all her water. She walked out with a staff today when I picked her up. Once she saw me she started crying and screaming and walked over to me. This even as I walked towards her. Quickly picked her up to soothe her and she seemed so angry and sad.

Seems like it was quite a traumatic day for her. She didn't nap well and woke up frequently. Normally she just takes her nap and doesn't wake up in the middle of it. Was very cranky even when we were home. Kept clinging on to me. Only after her evening shower did she seem to be in a better mood. Nearing bedtime she fussed again, but fell asleep faster than the first night. Probably tired out. Woke up frequently at night.

Third Day:
Finally it's Friday! Which kid/adult wouldn't rejoice about this!? Well I guess to Kaitlin every other day is the same for now. We just reached the school entrance and she started fussing already. Was clinging on to me tightly. By now she is sort of used to the procedure of checking her mouth/legs/hand and taking her temperature, which I feel is a good sign. I dropped her off but this time I sat her down on the mat and then say goodbye to her. I hope this would help her think that I am dropping her off and not that the teacher is trying to steal her away from me. I don't want her to end up disliking the teacher and class. Hope this works. She cried immediately. I looked back and had to resist going back in :( Teacher feedbacked that she was crying non-stop till the last hour of class. Didn't participate much in class. They had gourmet class today so she got to take this home:

However according to the teacher she didn't want to participate, so I don't really think it's her work, but I suppose she must have done a little something here and there. Ate a little of the lunch I packed for her. Teacher also mentioned that she wanted to be left alone today. Didn't want to be carried and rather just be in her corner. WHY SO EMO NEMO my little girl? :( She was a little teary when I picked her up but not screaming away so that was good. She fell asleep on the way back but her nap lasted only 15-20mins. She was happy when she woke up. Not as cranky as the day before, but keeps wanting me by her side. Only natural of course.

All in all, the past few days have been super exhausting for us. It's hard for Kaitlin to accept this new arrangement, but I got to tell you that it's been hard on us as well. Having to see her deal with this, and at the same time deal with her crankiness. Couldn't stop thinking and worrying about her as well. We'll see how the next week goes. Hopefully things get better, if not I still might pull her out within this trial period.

With regards to the school, I must admit that there were certain things/issues that happened which I was not very happy about. This also made me regret my choice. However, since she has started, I'm just hoping everything gets better. 

Preschool Search

Yes, from the title of my post, you can pretty much guess that I'm at it again. I kinda stopped halfway in my search for Kaitlin's preschool cos it got so draining and I honestly couldn't decide what I wanted for her. I'm so annoyed with myself and I wonder why I give myself a headache when the problem could be quite easily solved if I just chose one that's near where I live and which fits within my budget.

I think I'm asking for trouble when I'm looking into programmes of schools which I know would be pushing our limits in terms of our finances, but I've reasoned with myself that I wouldn't mind eating just veggies for my meals and, possibly doing without extra help and settling all the chores and looking after Kaitlin myself. That way I save money and I busy myself so I have no time or energy to shop which means I hopefully save more money.

With that being said, the ever throbbing question in mind is that "Do these pricier schools necessarily  mean that they are better in terms of curriculum, safety, attention and care to our kids, the meals they provide?". It feels like in our society today, standard and quality is based on how much something costs. 

I mean a school that charges an average school term fee could have teachers who occasionally ignore children and use their handphones, and a school that charges higher fees could have the same problem too. It really depends on the teachers and the individual. Also, that the one particular teacher that impressed you during your visit and was the deciding factor, could have put on a show or if she was really that fantastic, it wouldn't be a surprise if she switched schools and went somewhere else to teach, and only to be replaced by a not so dedicated or lacking in experience one.

I know I'm being difficult and it really seems like I'm asking for the sky and the ocean, but how can I not?! It's my babygirl. Every parent would want the best for their children and education is so important. Sure, she's a kid now and really young but what if I sent her to one that causes her to have nightmares about going to school and she never ever wants to go to school in the future and would make up excuses like she's sick. Or what if she attended one where she ends up speaking with a weird foreign slang to it or is given food with so little meat? I am not being psychotic or anal okay, I have really read a blog by a mother whose daughter attended a school where she was give measly amounts of meat and it was more of just rice and gravy. HELLO?! Where is the nutrition? They are after all growing children. Don't forget the hygiene. I would not want to enrol her into a school which has frequent outbreaks and in the end I find myself back to square where I'm basically looking after at home instead of attending school like she should be.

In all honesty, till now I don't know what I want for her. It's like the hardest decision one could ever make and it's only preschool. I think I would be pulling my hair when it comes to choosing her kindy and primary school. It's amazing how your priorities change when you become a mother. It's no longer choosing between hot pink or baby pink for your next bag purchase and whether to get a shimmer glitter or sheer lipgloss.

Right now, I'm having difficulty deciding what I kind of learning environment I want for her. I definitely want her to have fun while learning and learn through exploration and dig deeper into what she finds interesting like the Reggio Emilia approach. Yet, I would be lying if I said that it didn't matter if she was ready for Primary One and if she lagging behind. YES. I'm a somewhat kiasu parent. Are we all not? I honestly think we are all kiasu, the only difference is by how much. I'm fine if she is lagging behind when she first starts primary school, cos I can always help her and tutor her together with Daddy Li. What I'm not fine with is how it is gonna affect her. Surely you would not want to feel like you are not as smart as your peers, and forever at the bottom of the class. You would feel like you are lousy and possibly have low self esteem. That's just the start. What if your classmates started jeering at you and putting you down or even bullying you? How would that affect your child emotionally? I have even come across teachers who put students down. Totally experienced it before. I just don't want her to feel like she is dumb and has not talent or ability to do better. I don't want her to be school bully's victim and one day commit suicide or anything. I want her to feel like she has the potential and the freedom to do whatever she wants and that she can excel as long as she puts her mind to it and of course that hard work pays off. So that has got me into thinking if I should also let her learn in a more structured environment, something like Shichida. 

Then I ponder and wonder, why not have both? Let her experience both and she would naturally learn at whatever pace and mixed style suits her best or that she likes. But would that be like a confusion to her or in the end it's just a complete waste of money cos she is not totally immersed into one style of learning? Can someone out there please tell me if it is possible to do both and get effective results or it's one or the other?

I'm seriously killing myself with this. I really do not want to settle on one school and be all happy that I've finally decided on "THE ONE" and then a month or two later end up searching for another school cos it didn't seem like what it was or Kaitlin didn't like it.

Okay, I am done with ranting. Okay, it's not so much a rant cos I am really trying to find the school and learning style that suits Kaitlin best and I'm not frustrated by it. I'm just annoyed with myself for wanting everything to be perfect and being nit picky and all, and being so fickle. It's like I'm wasting my time thinking back and forth and by the time I'm done, she would probably be like 2 years old already and some places have like waiting lists -.- By now, you all probably think I'm a psycho parent or something.  I am not :(( I really just want the best for her..and I know I need to chill on this and I shall..

With that being said, if you readers have had any good experiences with any preschool or know of friends or relatives who have raved about any preschools in Singapore please do let me know. Don't worry I am not going to kidnap your children or anything. It just would certainly help me in narrowing down my options since we have like so many schools in Singapore. Location is not a big issue, cos I am prepared to possibly even move just so that we could be nearer to a school that suits Kaitlin, but of course not to the extreme ends of Singapore cos I still need my sanity of not having to take more than a hour to travel to town. I would be eternally grateful  for all your help <3